Since the subject of romantic relationships is very complex and profound, no single card could ever capture the entirety of its nature. However, because the Two of Cups is often interpreted as a representation of a successful romantic relationship, I thought it would be interesting to see what insights this card gives us about this subject.
The cup is clearly a receptive object; after all, a cup must receive a liquid into itself before it can hold it. There are many actions humans do that are receptive in nature. Listening is one of the most important ones. Many people believe that just because they have functional ears and good hearing, they can listen. This is not true; few people these days know how to listen. This unfortunate fact compelled Michael P. Nichols, PhD to write a book called The Lost Art of Listening, which can be bought here. The book’s description states that it “has already helped over 125,000 readers break through conflicts and transform their personal and professional relationships.”
The nature of the cup also has many parallels to the nature of memory. Just as a cup receives a fluid and holds it, memory receives information and holds it. This indicates that using your memory is important if you want your relationship to succeed. It’s not hard to think of reasons for this. If I forget my girlfriend’s birthday, she’s not going to be happy about that. If she is upset about me never putting the cap back on the toothpaste, then I need to remember not to do that again. We’re all bound to make mistakes in our relationships. Remembering the lessons those mistakes have taught us will prevent us from making those same mistakes again, ensuring the relationship becomes less bumpy.
Furthermore, in magic, the cup often does more than just receive a substance into itself. Often, it receives a substance into itself and then transforms it. The transubstantiation of ordinary wine into sacramental wine is one example of this. Similarly, when you enter a romantic relationship with someone, you receive her into your life, but you also help transform her.
In his essay on the electric fluid, Bill presents a hypothetical situation in which a magician makes the following request to a spirit of the Sphere of Venus.
I want a lover who will walk beside me on my way through life, who I can love and who loves me in return. I want it so we bring out the best in each other. I want a love so rich and nurturing it turns our weaknesses into strengths. I want a love so complete it overflows and enriches the lives of everyone around us.
This is what I mean when I say that you should not just receive your lover into your life, but transform her as well. You should bring out the best in her and turn her weaknesses into strengths.
Notice also that the cups in the card don’t have lids. The cups aren’t possessive or clingy. They don’t seek to trap whatever they receive into themselves. Similarly, you shouldn’t be possessive or clingy with your lover, and you shouldn’t try to trap her.
In Liber ABA, Aleister Crowley writes the following about the cup.
They say that the Venetians made glasses which changed color if poison was put into them; of such a glass must the student make his cup.
Again, when you enter a romantic relationship with someone, you receive that person into your life the way a cup receives a fluid. However, if that person is toxic to you, you should dump him. Since a cup can transform substances, you might think that you can change the toxic person’s nature through your love. It’s possible, but is it worth it? You can only help someone change if he is willing to change, and most toxic people are not willing to change. Therefore, be alert and know the signs that your partner is toxic.
Crowley also writes the following about the cup.
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The cup can hardly be described as a weapon. It is round like the pentacle – not straight like the wand and the dagger. Reception, not projection, is its nature.
This is actually not true. The cup can give just as easily as it can receive. When you poor milk from a carton into a cup, the cup receives the milk. However, the cup doesn’t hold the milk indefinitely. It gives the milk to your mouth when you drink from it. Some might argue that while literal/physical cups can give, on the symbolic level, cups can only receive. This is also not true. Where cups are found in magic, they rarely just receive. They almost always receive and then give what they have received, or in some cases, receive, transform what they have received, and then give what they have received. If you examine the water element, which is the element that corresponds to the cup, you will find that the water element is also not purely receptive, but can give that which it receives into itself. For example, you can charge water with a quality like patience, compassion, or success. When you do this, the water receives the quality into itself. If you then take a bath in the water, you can wash the quality into yourself. When you do this, the water gives the quality to your personality. From all of this, we can conclude that in a successful romantic relationship, you must both give and receive.
Water is reflective, and thus, a cup filled with water (or any pure liquid) can serve as a mirror. If you are in a romantic relationship, you can learn a lot about yourself by examining the way you treat and interact with your partner. In many ways it’s like looking into a mirror, but one that reflects your character and personality instead of your body.
The following passage comes from the Codex of Love.
A woman who shuns the love of men may uphold her honor, but she fills her cup with sorrow. A man that seeks a woman without love may fulfill his desire, but he will fill his cup with loneliness. These are the laws of love; know them well.
Romantic relationships are a valid part of the human experience. Therefore, those who refuse to enter romantic relationships for the sole reason of adhering to what their cultures consider to be “honorable” ways of living will feel sorrow. Of course, if you’re aromantic or asexual, that’s a completely different story and not what we’re concerned with here. Also, you can have a good time by having sex fueled by desire and lust. That’s fine, but if you try to establish a long-term romantic relationship on lust and desire instead of genuine love, you’re going to end up feeling lonely, even when you are in the arms of your lover.
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